Time Out

I did not call this post "Speed Bump #_" because it is not one.  The husband of a former colleague of mine at another school was diagnosed with ALS two summers ago.  This was about the time I entered into the "Is it ALS or is it Lyme" Sweepstakes.  Every few months we would touch base via e-mail.  Well I had not heard from my friend in a while so I sent out an e-mail asking how her husband was doing.  She informed me that he had succumbed to ALS last October.  That was 16 months after his diagnosis.

So many different emotions went through my head when I heard the news.  Sadness for her loss, despair for rapid deteriation, and I'll admit it fear for myself.  I don't want to go fast, I don't want to go slow/painful.  Let's face it.  I don't want to go at all!  I know I have no choice when it comes to ALS.  I wish I had some say in this and I do when it comes to my emotions.

I remember years ago a friend was dying after a long battle with cancer.  She was a mother of 3 (2 girls and a small little boy).  We were with her in the hospital as the end came near.  Everyone was telling her it was ok, she could let go.  One of her last responses was to say, "How can I?  I'm a mother."  Like my friend, I too am a mother.  Perhaps my children are not young (24-14) but still they are my babies.  I want to be there when the great milestones of their lives occur.  A bonus would be to have time left over to spend with Dennis.